Last week, I talked about finding your path and if you need help on the journey, to look up and look around you to find the signs that can help you find your goal. Then this week, I saw a quote by Rod Serling which caught my eye:
“A sickness known as hate; not a virus, not a microbe, not a germ – but a sickness nonetheless, highly contagious, deadly in its effects. Don’t look for it in the Twilight Zone – look for it in a mirror. Look for it before the light goes out altogether.”
Rod Serling
I was in awe! The reason why I was awed by Serling’s comment is the fact that I believe he is right. Hate has dire consequences irrespective of context. It can be as horrific as full blown wars like the war in Ukraine to micro aggressions at home or in the workplace. The consequences are always bad.
That is why we have to be determined not to give in to hate ourselves. I for one know that I dislike certain people’s behaviour. For example my neighbour who sued me over a leak which should have been addressed by the building administration years before I bought my flat. Incidentally, I had arranged to fix the leak in the same week they went to court. Would I go as far as hating them though? No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t hate them for two good reasons.
First, hating someone sucks energy and I’d rather spend my energy on positive actions in my life. Everything else is just a waste of human life in my opinion.
Second, hate never leads to positive outcomes. Whilst not being a friend of using generalisations, I use the word “never” with purpose.
Hate never leads to positive outcomes!
What to do instead? you ask.
Rod Serling spoke out about racism and war. Likewise for us, it is critical that you speak your mind. If you feel someone was unkind towards you, speak your mind. If you notice injustice, speak your mind. If you see anything wrong, speak your mind.
You don’t have to be mean about it. It’s important though that you speak your mind so that the other person (and society) knows. Then it is up to them to respond.
Likewise, speaking your mind can be a collective action such as in the Black Lives Matter movement. Every single person who participated in the protests spoke their mind. After all, it is a conscious decision to walk with the movement.
Furthermore, if you speak out yourself, then others will see you speak out and are more inclined to speak out also.
Another one is to try and be patient. It’s not always easy but if someone cuts you off in traffic, just let them get on with their day. Chances are, they either have a real emergency or they have miserable lifes and need this little boost to feel better about themselves. Simply be the better person.
Sidebar: this is not an invitation to let others walk all over you. You can be patient and nice without being a doormat. Setting clear boundaries and expectations is often all that was missing in interactions with others.
Also, whatever the situation, do not give in to hate based on stereotypes or based on “us versus them” thinking. This is the quickest way to deteriorate to full blown confrontation.
Be kind, be patient and speak your mind about what’s wrong.