Always, always, always look at what “they” do and not what “they” say.
First up, when I refer to “they”, then I’m thinking of people (e.g. Trump, Johnson, Putin) as well as companies. Any legal entity is able to be incongruent in their actions and words. For the rest of the article, I shall refer to “person” to cover all of these.
Now, why would you focus on actions rather than words?
“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve mentioned a few times that words are cheap and easy. Anyone can say any combinations of words and letters and sentences. The only conditions are the intentions and morals of the person. That is where the problems start.
Any person who is dishonest, immoral or simply not interested will tell you whatever they think you want to hear. You will be happy for a moment and they get their way. Then they break their promises, go behind your back or quietly ignore their previous statements. That is the point when it’s important to start observing their behavior and actions instead of their words.
A simple example is your spouse / partner who tells you that they love you and then break up with you the next day because they want to move in with their new partner.
Or it could be Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, who says “We are in a battle for the hearts and minds of our people, and we are going to be successful” whilst shutting down a unionized Starbucks in Ithaca. In Europe, where workers’ rights are taken more seriously and where the laws are embedded in law, this would not even be an option.
There are many more examples where actions and words don’t match up and ultimately, if they don’t then trust erodes and relationships break down. Walking away from someone who continually breaks promises may be the only option. It is not a bad option either because it frees you for better connections, relationships and experiences going forward. I once had to walk away from what could have been a great job because my manager said one thing to my face and another behind my back. Turns out, walking away was one of the best things I have ever done and in hindsight, I should have walked away sooner.
Beware though: this notion of observing actions over words is also important when it comes to your actions and words. If you say that you will do something, then you better do it. After all, everyone will be paying attention to your actions over your words. That includes me also and let me tell you, over the years, I have become a lot more aware of what I promise. I’m also more cognizant of what I have to say No to. Do I want to catch up on sleep or do I want to have one more glass of wine with friends? Do I want to help you move house or do I want to go for a hike in the mountains? I can’t do it all and I need to choose and communicate my decision clearly.
“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”
Carl Gustav Jung
Most importantly, observe the representatives and politicians you voted for! You voted for them based on what they said and possibly on previous actions. How do they act? What do they say? Does it match up? Do they represent you the way you deserve to be represented? If it doesn’t, I strongly recommend you look for better representation next time.
My suggestion to you is that you use next week to watch, observe and possibly even take note of what people say and then check what they do it. Does it match up?
Observe, compare, think. Then decide on how you want to deal with them.
Happy observing!