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Celebrate connection – not outdated, romantic love!

Valentine’s day is upon us. Every year it’s the same dilemma, what to do about it? The answer often depends on whether one is in a relationship and whether “the current partner” wants to celebrate it or not.

My best friend from way back always used to say “men come and go” – even when her husband stood next to her. It took me a long time to realise that she may be true. Relationships come, start, peak, fizzle out or end abruptly. May it’s a new job that changes you whole world or your partner’s new hobby that doesn’t allow you space in their life. Whatever it may be, relationships come and go.

Having relationships end is not a bad thing either. It opens us up to new opportunities and the possibility for change. Think about it: if you only ever knew the people who were with you in kindergarten, how would your life look like today?

The same holds true for romantic relationships. There are a few lucky people who find “the one” and there are some more who are willing to “put in the effort”, but a lot of people simply stay single or in relationships because “that’s how it was yesterday” or “that’s how it was last year”.

Now think back to last year Valentine’s day. Has anything changed? If not, what would you want to change to make it an outstanding day? What would you keep the same?

If your situation has changed, a similar question is in order: what do you want to have in place (prepared) for the best Valentine’s day ever?

I would like you to think about what Valentine’s day really means for you. If you simply want a diamond laced watch from you partner, then be upfront and honest. If you rather contribute to world happiness in a small way by being happy yourself, then do that. I’m not your boss and can’t tell you what to do. Only you can know what you want for that day (and any other day for that matter).

Go and decide for yourself what small action would make this day memorable to you.

As for me, after work, I’ll be doing some yoga followed by a candle lit TV binge watch session with one glass of wine in my bathtub – because this is the height of luxury for me this year. Enjoy!

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Learn a skill and use it

Now that the initial rush of New Year’s resolutions is over (if you took part or not), I believe it’s time to sit down and actually think about the rest of the year.

I am a big fan or continuous learning and the older I get, the more I see value in learning practical skills. Don’t worry if you think it’s too hard or takes too long. Most skills only take a few hours over a few weeks to get the hang of. Also, there are plenty of organizations and clubs or night schools to help you get started.

For me, it’s a simple choice: I want to learn how to look at a flat and know if it’s going to be nice to live in it. Yes, it’s time to move house again and rather than rushing in like last time, or the time before or the time before…, I want to become better at it. So I’ve decided to put all my efforts into learning how to do that. I’ll start by doing some research online on what to look out for, organizations who can help me on the learning journey and even if there are certifications which may be useful later on. After all, I’ve never found myself in a situation of having an official certificate and not needing it. More the other way around, needing official recognition and not having it. That’s why I know how important it is to have skills to start with and if there’s a certificate to be had, to get certified also.

It may sound like a rubber stamping exercise to you and I agree with this feeling. Having said that, you never know what will happen in the future and if you spend time on learning a skill, why not have a paper in your back pocket to show the world that you are capable of?

What’s your skill you will learn over the next few months?

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Be a little selfish at times

On Thursday, I tried to motivate you by appealing to your own best interest. This got me thinking that selfishness seems to have a very bad reputation. When I grew up, I always had to share my toys with my siblings and at school, we had to watch out for weaker pupils in class to make sure we all graduated together.

Whilst I am very much in favor of helping others and see it as one way of building a better society, I have to point out that being a little selfish at times is also needed.

You may have heard of self-care or the damaging results of the Superwoman Syndrome or just be overworked yourself. I’m sure many of you could do with a little help at times – or just some time to yourself. There are many benefits that taking a few moments out of a stressful day keeps you happy and healthy.

There is also no downside to putting yourself first when there is only one drumstick left at the end of the meal and you really want it. Unless you want (need?) to loose weight, there shouldn’t be anything stopping you from indulging sometimes.

More importantly, in a work and business setting, don’t be shy and do apply for every opportunity in which you would gain new skills, learn new techniques and earn more money. If you don’t put yourself first, nobody else will do it for you.

I invite you to be a little selfish at times and to take a few minutes every day to yourself or apply for that promotion or have that last piece of chocolate, if that’s what you want. Go for it!

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Sign up to vote in YOUR best interest

It is time to mention it again: it is important to vote!

In most countries, elections are held regularly to allow every person to participate in how the country is run. This is the biggest chance of getting your voice heard and putting someone in power who will champion YOUR interests.

Yes, vote for your interests and yours only. If you want women’s rights protected, go and vote for the party who actually has female members and leaders. Don’t vote for the party where the leaders are “grabbing them by the pussy” or where it’s OK to rape women because “boys will be boys”.

If you feel financial stability is important to you, I suggest you look at the track record of the parties on offer. Here, I will ask you to dig deep. Don’t rely on what you hear in the media but try and find the actual records of how each party acted, spent money and made you better off. Which party did go into debt for real? Which party lowered unemployment really?

If you want a better world for your children, again, I suggest you look at what each party has to offer. Is there a party that sticks out as supporting the greater good for future generations via infrastructure projects or childcare?

I highly recommend you think about what kind of a future you want to help create and then vote accordingly.

First, you have to sign up so that you will be allowed to vote. Then, you will have time to figure out who to vote for.

I urge you to sing up today and make your voice heard.

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Smile and the world will smile back at you

Watching and listening to the news gives me the chills these days. There doesn’t seem much good in the world. To make me feel better, I would usually smile intentionally at my fellow human beings but given that I’m taking one of the team and wear my mask diligently to stop the spread of COVID, that seems an awfully big challenge.

So how can you acknowledge and connect with people whilst lacking visual feedback?

Well, there are a couple of options. The first one is to wear a transparent face

mask. Yes, there are plenty of options of see through masks on the market. The main driver was to allow hearing impaired people to be able to lip read. What an achievement!
The downside to these masks is that not all are created equal. So please be sure to choose one which is certified to filter COVID particles.

Another (better?) option would be to make sounds to elicit the same reaction a smile would do. WHAT? I hear you ask.

I’m pretty sure that when you speak with a friend or someone close to you that you listen to them and on occasion make sound like “aha” or “oh”… sometimes even a full “oh, I see now”. These are often used to show that we are listening actively and that we are still with the person who is talking. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to get into the habit and in my experience, the benefits are huge.

So how do we do this to temporarily replace a smile?

How about wishing your neighbor a good morning, make a brief comment on the weather or just saying “Hi” if your eyes meet someone else’s.

I dare you to try it for a week and see what happens.