Be gentle – with yourself, with your friends, with the world

The world seems to be going crazy right now. Europe has a major war on it’s hands, the US is divided in a way it hasn’t been since the civil war, Africa and Asia contain the world’s highest number of crisis zones, South America is suffering from economic woes and both Canada and Australia are burning every year.

On top of that come individual issues such as problems with your partner / spouse, elderly parents requiring help, children in need of role models, terrible bosses, bad jobs, no clear path to improve one’s situation… and then… it rains the one Sunday you planned to head out to the park.

Sometimes, it seems too much – too much to take, too much to handle, too much of a burden to carry.

You are right! It is too much. It not only looks that way, but it is.

That’s why the best thing to do is to be gentle with yourself. Rather than despairing with the load of it all, just take a breather. Literally, take a few minutes out, take a break and just sit there and breath. Let your mind wander. What would you rather do instead? Then go and do that. Do it for a little while and see how your mood changes. Often, a short period of time is sufficient to realise that life is good after all.

The same holds true for being with friends, family, co-workers. They may seem a bit much or too energetic or too harsh at times and they surely are. That’s why it’s important to be gentle with them also. Give them the time and space they need without interrupting them and just let them be and listen. They will turn into more manageable people in good time. After all, everyone wants to be listened to and understood.

As for the world, sometimes, we need to be gentle with it also. If life seems overwhelming, we need to be gentle in how we react. Instead of panicking or getting anxious, we simply may need to take a moment to analyse the situation before reacting.

A well known quote come to mind:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Let’s choose to take advantage of this space, let’s choose to grow and let’s choose to be gentle.

Keep showing your support and remeber to take action

The war in Ukraine has been going on for a full month now!

Flag of Ukraine
Flag of Ukraine; Source: Wikipedia

At this point, the war is still in the news as more and more war crimes happen in the region. There is still support for Ukrainians from civilians and aid agencies all over the world and I hope it will continue.

It is important that the attention remains because there are conflicts which no longer show up on our radars. Do you still remember the civil war in Syria? Did you know that over 6 million refugees fled their country? Inside Syria, another 6 million people are displaced. Yes, a total of 13 million people left their home for fear of death, injury or worse. The worst may be over by now but the war in Syria is still a crisis.

And what about Afghanistan, Lebanon or Yemen? They are still in crisis too. This is not a “what about-ism”. I’m merely trying to highlight how many war zones we currently have on this beautiful world.

According to Wikipedia, there are 57 ongoing armed conflicts at time of writing. 57! That’s too much. Looking at the Global Conflict Tracker, none of them are improving.

Are you overwhelmed yet? Do you think you are too far away to make a difference?

There is always the option to either donate to aid organizations or to volunteer for charities who champion peace and human rights such as Amnesty International.

The most important step is to take responsibility for your own actions. Yes, your actions – no matter how small – make a difference. Stopping a bully picking on a smaller child in kindergarten in a productive way will have an impact on both children. Reporting crime when you see it, is another good example – even if you think that nothing will come from it.

Taking part in protests and calling your political representative to push for change are also a great way to ensure your voice is heard. So is to run for office yourself; even if you participate on a school board, you will have a chance to make this world a better place.

It is important that you do your part.

This includes to show up at the voting booth and vote for the peaceful, democratic, inclusive party. The party that comes up with plans for the future and ideas on how to keep everyone included. Vote as if your life depended on it – because sooner or later, it will.

Time to get fit with purpose

This week, I’ve been trying to stop doom scrolling and it is harder than I thought. The bad news seems to drain me emotionally and yet, keeps me stuck on the news cycle.

Worst of all: I became aware of how unprepared I am for any kind of disruption to my life!

I don’t know about you or your lifestyle, but I wouldn’t even know what to do in a crisis like in Ukraine. I have no idea where the nearest shelter is or what the official sirens sound like.

Even worse: I’m still so unfit, I’m not sure I would have it in me to flee a war zone. I’m not even blaming it on COVID which didn’t help. Yes, I did start doing Yoga somewhat regularly since the beginning of the year and I definitely feel more flexible, but I have not improved much in terms of strength or aerobic fitness which would be needed for walking long distances, running or simply going without food for more than a few hours.

Also, I’m in no way suggesting that I’m going to turn into a survivalist with hundreds of tins of food and a mountain of toilet paper at home – not at all. All I’m thinking of doing is to get into better shape so that if I ever found myself in a hard spot, that I’m physically well enough to deal with the situation.

If you think this is a narcissistic response to the war, I agree. It is self centered. Having said that, it’s a lot easier to help others when in the shape to do so. Or in the words of every airline safety video ever: “Put your own mask on first, because that is the only way, you then can help others to put on theirs.”

For that reason, I encourage you to do the same. Keep looking after yourself by keeping fit and also well informed of what is going on around you.

Know your institutions and support them

Yesterday, 16 March 2022, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) decided by 13 votes to 2 that Russia must stop the war against Ukraine.

This is great news!

This is great news because it is legally binding and may help shore up support for Ukraine. The main issue is that it may be hard to enforce. Who would enforce the ruling? How would that look like? What will the real life consequences be?

I don’t have answers to any of these questions and don’t want to speculate.

After hearing about the ruling, I realised how little I knew about the actual workings of the ICJ. Yes, they are based in The Hague, The Netherlands, and it is the court which decides over the fate of war criminals. What else though?

More importantly: who else?

Thanks to all their contributors, Wikipedia has a long but not exhaustive list of the major intergovernmental organisations of which there are over 25.000 in total!

Why don’t you take a look and start reading up on those that impact you directly?

Stop doom scrolling and take action for a better future

Since Thursday, 24 February 2022, I’ve been doom scrolling nearly every day. Yes, I am one of those people who wake up and before doing anything else, I check if president Zelenskyy is still alive and what the latest atrocities in Ukraine are. I do the same before going to bed and have lost countless hours of sleep that way.

What should I have done instead?

I could have signed up as a virtual volunteer in aid of Ukraine, I could have done volunteering in my local area, I could have tidied my flat. As Beverley Knight sang “Shoulda Woulda Coulda means I’m out of time”. I can’t change the past and rather than continuing with doom scrolling or hoping I had done differently, I better set my eyes on more productive behaviours in the future.

The first change I’ll make is to use a different alarm clock. Yes, I will banish my mobile phone which used to be my alarm clock and go back to using an old fashioned one. That alone should give me back half hour every day in the morning.

Further, I’ll limit my news reading to 10 minutes each right after breakfast, lunch and stopping work for the day. This should keep me up to date without taking up too much of my time.

With this new found time, I’ll focus back on my goals of learning new skills as I described earlier this year. I will also continue to support Ukraine, democracy and liberal values as much as I can through actions. I hope you do too.