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Dare to live in adventure and courage, not in fear!

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been having more contact with an old friend of mine. I only have fond memories of her and I strongly believe we will stay friends forever. The only thing that concerns me is that it appears as if she lives in fear.

Fear? you ask. What’s there to be afraid of these days? There are no hungry lions chasing us, medicine is able to resolve most issues and overall, living standards are higher than during most periods in human history.

I believe the fear that looms is the fear of being left behind and the fear of being alone.

The fear of being left behind is based on rampant technological advances she feels she can’t keep up with. In addition, whilst having paid her pensions contributions all her life, the actual pension doesn’t always reach the end of the month. That fear coupled with negative news headlines, doom scrolling and a hint of living in a bubble of similar minded people, that is the basis of a perfect storm of not even trying to keep up with the outside world.

Given the fear of keeping up, the world around my friend is closing in and getting smaller with every passing year. In the worst case scenario, this could lead to being alone which is the second big fear of hers. All that fear impacts her health which brings out more stress leading to more fear of being alone.

What to do about it?

The main step is to build up a mindset of adventure and curiosity. The reason is simple. If you always want to get out there and explore and learn and live, then you won’t even have enough time to think and fear. It will also result in a shift in mindset from worrying about obstacles to “how can I overcome them?”. These two ways of looking at the same topic couldn’t be more different. One leads to paralyzing fear and the other to building resilience.

If you are skeptical, please go and try it out yourself. Pick a topic that would usually get you anxious and then re-frame the fearful situation as a challenge or adventure that you know you can overcome but you just haven’t figured out how to do it yet. Or re-frame your fear by seeing the positive in the situation. Give it at least 10 minutes to start with.

How did that feel?

I wished this was me but it is not… not yet!
Photo by Eric Sanman from Pexels

Trust me, it is always better to try something, learn a whole lot and fail compared to never being courageous enough to go out there and live. The adventure doesn’t need to be big either. Even a small action can break a habit of staying within the comfort zone. One small action can be the start of something big. All it takes is one step in the right direction.

As for me, I will go hiking tomorrow and I know already that the mountain will be steeper than anything I have walked on before. NOTE: it is not steep for others at all, just for me. For me, the challenge is to overcome my low level acrophobia (aka fear of heights) and that is exactly the reason why I am doing it. I want to be more courageous and I know that I need to go out there and prove to myself that I can do it. After all, others can too.

How will you show your courage and sense of adventure this weekend?

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How to cope with it all

Looking back over the last few years, life seems to be one long onslaught of bad news, disappointments and bad decisions. Starting with the 2008 recession following the bursting housing bubble, to the unnoticed economic downturn in 2011, including the Charlie Hebdo attacks in Paris and the Syrian refugee crisis in 2015, Brexit in 2016, over COVID starting in 2019 resulting in multiple lockdowns over 2 years, to a full blown land war in Europe and finally, inflation now appears to pull the rug out under many people’s feet.

I didn’t even mention mass shootings, gun violence, wildfires US and wildfires Europe, floods, religiously motivated killings, car crashes, hate crimes and ever rising taxes… because somehow, they seem so “normal” these days.

There’s just so much “bad stuff” is out there. It all appears too much. It appears too much because it is much.

How can we stay sane and safe in a world like this?

How can we stay sane and safe in times like this?

How can we stay sane and safe at all?

I believe that Howard Zinn said it best:

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places – and there are so many – where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

Howard Zinn

I agree with Zinn in that actions – also small actions – make a huge difference in the world. They definitely made a difference in my life and helped me move from a dark period in my life to a good place where I see the future in a much better light.

At one point, I only had enough energy for one positive action in my life: buy the cheapest, nice looking bunch of flowers at my corner shop. It was a very small action but the impact of my life was great. I always looked forward to the next bunch of flowers and they cheered me up every time I looked at them – and I looked at them a lot. Slowly but surely, this small bunch of flowers brought back a little light into my life and I managed to push back the darkness. As a next step, I started to walk the 2 miles into work which meant I got more daylight and made me feel better and fitter. Then, I incorporated some self-care and slowly but surely, I overcame all the big challenges in my life.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pezels

My life is not perfect by any means (I’m still doom scrolling more than I’d like) and I still continue with this habit of small actions to this day. I wholeheartedly take actions believing that a better future is possible. Furthermore, I know that if I want to see a better future, I must contribute myself.

So my question to you is: What small action will you take today to bring about a better future, to bring about your victory?

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Fight for your right to privacy!

I am a very private person. Whilst I’m happy to share a lot of personal information with people I know and trust, I don’t tend to share important data and most certainly, I won’t share it with everyone. For example, I do not want to share my menstruation pattern with anyone at all least of all Facebook. I see no point in sharing my personal health information with my workplace. After all, if I’m fit to carry out my work, then there shouldn’t be any need to reveal more. I also see no point in sharing information on my personal believes or political affiliation with anyone other than those I wish to share it with.

The reason is not that I want to hide things. The reason is plain and simple that it’s nobody’s business.

Photo by Thomas Windisch from Pexels

If you haven’t seen the movie “Anon” (2018) yet, I highly recommend it. My favorite quote of the movie is uttered by the main character without a digital footprint: “It’s not that I have something to hide. I have nothing I want you to see.” This is how I feel too.

Why is privacy important?

Privacy is important because if it’s not respected, people die. As simple as that. For example, during World War II, people rightly or wrongly identified as “enemies of the state” were killed. It did not matter if they were a conscientious objector like Jägerstätter or Jewish or homosexual or mentally challenged (my grandmother’s brother was forcibly removed from their home in 1943) .

In the “United” States of America, privacy is being destroyed right now whilst we sit back and watch it happen. With the Republican plan to overturn Roe v Wade, privacy is under direct threat.

Sidebar: Overturning Roe v Wade is NOT going to stop abortions. It will merely make it more expensive and more dangerous – unless illegal abortion networks start up again… or we start using a DIY menstrual extraction kits again.

Roe v Wade is not about abortion. It is about privacy. It was a decision that everyone – man, woman, child – has a right to privacy. After all, it’s nobody’s business to know if you are pregnant or not… or if you want to – or are able to – bring up a child.

Please don’t think that Roe v Wade is only an issue that impacts women of child bearing age. Privacy – or lack thereof – impacts all of us (homosexuals, those in interracial relationships, disabled people, etc same list as above) and NOW is the time to act.

To keep YOUR right to privacy, I urge you to go out on the streets and make your voice heard! Call your senators and congressman and all other representatives and tell them to keep Roe v Wade as is!

I implore you to go out in November and vote for the party that has YOUR privacy and YOUR health interests at heart!

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Follow others and like them, speak your mind!

Last week, I talked about finding your path and if you need help on the journey, to look up and look around you to find the signs that can help you find your goal. Then this week, I saw a quote by Rod Serling which caught my eye:

“A sickness known as hate; not a virus, not a microbe, not a germ – but a sickness nonetheless, highly contagious, deadly in its effects. Don’t look for it in the Twilight Zone – look for it in a mirror. Look for it before the light goes out altogether.”

Rod Serling


I was in awe! The reason why I was awed by Serling’s comment is the fact that I believe he is right. Hate has dire consequences irrespective of context. It can be as horrific as full blown wars like the war in Ukraine to micro aggressions at home or in the workplace. The consequences are always bad.

That is why we have to be determined not to give in to hate ourselves. I for one know that I dislike certain people’s behaviour. For example my neighbour who sued me over a leak which should have been addressed by the building administration years before I bought my flat. Incidentally, I had arranged to fix the leak in the same week they went to court. Would I go as far as hating them though? No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t hate them for two good reasons.

First, hating someone sucks energy and I’d rather spend my energy on positive actions in my life. Everything else is just a waste of human life in my opinion.

Second, hate never leads to positive outcomes. Whilst not being a friend of using generalisations, I use the word “never” with purpose.

Hate never leads to positive outcomes!

What to do instead? you ask.

Speak your mind!

Rod Serling spoke out about racism and war. Likewise for us, it is critical that you speak your mind. If you feel someone was unkind towards you, speak your mind. If you notice injustice, speak your mind. If you see anything wrong, speak your mind.

You don’t have to be mean about it. It’s important though that you speak your mind so that the other person (and society) knows. Then it is up to them to respond.

Likewise, speaking your mind can be a collective action such as in the Black Lives Matter movement. Every single person who participated in the protests spoke their mind. After all, it is a conscious decision to walk with the movement.

Furthermore, if you speak out yourself, then others will see you speak out and are more inclined to speak out also.

Another one is to try and be patient. It’s not always easy but if someone cuts you off in traffic, just let them get on with their day. Chances are, they either have a real emergency or they have miserable lifes and need this little boost to feel better about themselves. Simply be the better person.

Sidebar: this is not an invitation to let others walk all over you. You can be patient and nice without being a doormat. Setting clear boundaries and expectations is often all that was missing in interactions with others.

Also, whatever the situation, do not give in to hate based on stereotypes or based on “us versus them” thinking. This is the quickest way to deteriorate to full blown confrontation.

Be kind, be patient and speak your mind about what’s wrong.

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If you are stuck, look up and find your sign

I left home when I was a teenager and needed all the help I could get. The biggest help came from advice my mother gave me. She drove me to the airport and whilst lost in thought when finding my way, she told me to look around me, to look up and find a sign. Surely, there would be signs to tell me where I have to go… and yes, there were signs and plenty of them. I had no trouble finding flight and start a new life.

This advise has been the best advise I ever received. I still use it to this day when I need a pointer in the right direction. Of course, the use of smartphones has reduced the need for physical signs somewhat. However, there are enough situations when I’m not clear where to go or which path to follow e.g. when trying to find my way to the correct room at university on the first day. In these cases, I always go back to the original premise: look for a sign.

Also when travelling, even if I don’t speak or read the language, it helps to have a map and compare the symbols and names to what I see in the real world.

Road Sign (Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels)

Besides, since I started looking around more often, I now often see signs, posters, notifications which I find interesting or sometimes even impact my life. One example was a small note on the building entrance informing me that the water will be shut off next Friday morning and the exact start and end time. Another one was advertising the local Santa run in December which I wouldn’t have found out about any other way. It pays off to look around.

Try it for a week and see what signs you notice if you look out for them.