Be gentle – with yourself, with your friends, with the world

The world seems to be going crazy right now. Europe has a major war on it’s hands, the US is divided in a way it hasn’t been since the civil war, Africa and Asia contain the world’s highest number of crisis zones, South America is suffering from economic woes and both Canada and Australia are burning every year.

On top of that come individual issues such as problems with your partner / spouse, elderly parents requiring help, children in need of role models, terrible bosses, bad jobs, no clear path to improve one’s situation… and then… it rains the one Sunday you planned to head out to the park.

Sometimes, it seems too much – too much to take, too much to handle, too much of a burden to carry.

You are right! It is too much. It not only looks that way, but it is.

That’s why the best thing to do is to be gentle with yourself. Rather than despairing with the load of it all, just take a breather. Literally, take a few minutes out, take a break and just sit there and breath. Let your mind wander. What would you rather do instead? Then go and do that. Do it for a little while and see how your mood changes. Often, a short period of time is sufficient to realise that life is good after all.

The same holds true for being with friends, family, co-workers. They may seem a bit much or too energetic or too harsh at times and they surely are. That’s why it’s important to be gentle with them also. Give them the time and space they need without interrupting them and just let them be and listen. They will turn into more manageable people in good time. After all, everyone wants to be listened to and understood.

As for the world, sometimes, we need to be gentle with it also. If life seems overwhelming, we need to be gentle in how we react. Instead of panicking or getting anxious, we simply may need to take a moment to analyse the situation before reacting.

A well known quote come to mind:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Let’s choose to take advantage of this space, let’s choose to grow and let’s choose to be gentle.

Keep showing your support and remeber to take action

The war in Ukraine has been going on for a full month now!

Flag of Ukraine
Flag of Ukraine; Source: Wikipedia

At this point, the war is still in the news as more and more war crimes happen in the region. There is still support for Ukrainians from civilians and aid agencies all over the world and I hope it will continue.

It is important that the attention remains because there are conflicts which no longer show up on our radars. Do you still remember the civil war in Syria? Did you know that over 6 million refugees fled their country? Inside Syria, another 6 million people are displaced. Yes, a total of 13 million people left their home for fear of death, injury or worse. The worst may be over by now but the war in Syria is still a crisis.

And what about Afghanistan, Lebanon or Yemen? They are still in crisis too. This is not a “what about-ism”. I’m merely trying to highlight how many war zones we currently have on this beautiful world.

According to Wikipedia, there are 57 ongoing armed conflicts at time of writing. 57! That’s too much. Looking at the Global Conflict Tracker, none of them are improving.

Are you overwhelmed yet? Do you think you are too far away to make a difference?

There is always the option to either donate to aid organizations or to volunteer for charities who champion peace and human rights such as Amnesty International.

The most important step is to take responsibility for your own actions. Yes, your actions – no matter how small – make a difference. Stopping a bully picking on a smaller child in kindergarten in a productive way will have an impact on both children. Reporting crime when you see it, is another good example – even if you think that nothing will come from it.

Taking part in protests and calling your political representative to push for change are also a great way to ensure your voice is heard. So is to run for office yourself; even if you participate on a school board, you will have a chance to make this world a better place.

It is important that you do your part.

This includes to show up at the voting booth and vote for the peaceful, democratic, inclusive party. The party that comes up with plans for the future and ideas on how to keep everyone included. Vote as if your life depended on it – because sooner or later, it will.

Time to get fit with purpose

This week, I’ve been trying to stop doom scrolling and it is harder than I thought. The bad news seems to drain me emotionally and yet, keeps me stuck on the news cycle.

Worst of all: I became aware of how unprepared I am for any kind of disruption to my life!

I don’t know about you or your lifestyle, but I wouldn’t even know what to do in a crisis like in Ukraine. I have no idea where the nearest shelter is or what the official sirens sound like.

Even worse: I’m still so unfit, I’m not sure I would have it in me to flee a war zone. I’m not even blaming it on COVID which didn’t help. Yes, I did start doing Yoga somewhat regularly since the beginning of the year and I definitely feel more flexible, but I have not improved much in terms of strength or aerobic fitness which would be needed for walking long distances, running or simply going without food for more than a few hours.

Also, I’m in no way suggesting that I’m going to turn into a survivalist with hundreds of tins of food and a mountain of toilet paper at home – not at all. All I’m thinking of doing is to get into better shape so that if I ever found myself in a hard spot, that I’m physically well enough to deal with the situation.

If you think this is a narcissistic response to the war, I agree. It is self centered. Having said that, it’s a lot easier to help others when in the shape to do so. Or in the words of every airline safety video ever: “Put your own mask on first, because that is the only way, you then can help others to put on theirs.”

For that reason, I encourage you to do the same. Keep looking after yourself by keeping fit and also well informed of what is going on around you.

Know your institutions and support them

Yesterday, 16 March 2022, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) decided by 13 votes to 2 that Russia must stop the war against Ukraine.

This is great news!

This is great news because it is legally binding and may help shore up support for Ukraine. The main issue is that it may be hard to enforce. Who would enforce the ruling? How would that look like? What will the real life consequences be?

I don’t have answers to any of these questions and don’t want to speculate.

After hearing about the ruling, I realised how little I knew about the actual workings of the ICJ. Yes, they are based in The Hague, The Netherlands, and it is the court which decides over the fate of war criminals. What else though?

More importantly: who else?

Thanks to all their contributors, Wikipedia has a long but not exhaustive list of the major intergovernmental organisations of which there are over 25.000 in total!

Why don’t you take a look and start reading up on those that impact you directly?

Fight disinformation and misinformation

The war in the Ukraine is atrocious!

It is however a good case study in disinformation and misinformation. When listening to the BBC, CNN, NBC, Al Jazeera, one narrative is being presented. When watching QAnon, Fox News or RT (the Russian state owned and sponsored channel), a completely different picture is shown.

Who to believe?

First, it is important to understand that there will always be different narratives depending on who you support. Being aware of this makes it a lot easier to seek out information that is in direct opposition to what we believe in and then analyze it. The Ad Fontes Media Chart is a media bias watchdog organisation and their Ad Fontes Media Chart is one of the better known ones. As is the AllSides Media Bias Chart who groups media outlets into which direction they are leaning.

Being aware of different viewpoints, it is paramount to actually find sources which cover the different angles on the same topic. Looking at the war in Ukraine, I recommend to follow your local news channels, international outlets as well as Ukrainian and Russian news if you can receive them. Yes, it is important to understand and know about different viewpoints, opinions – even if we don’t agree with them. Being able to have better conversations, we may even be able to engage with people who think differently and as a result reduce their bias.

Second, always try and verify information on multiple, reputable sources. Just because something is on a social media platform, doesn’t make it true. I’d suggest you’d be especially cautious if you see a social media comment without the source being quoted. If there is a link to the source, do follow it to make sure it actually matches the message you originally read.

Most importantly, look at the actions and behaviours instead of the words. Words are cheap and easy. Actions and behaviours take effort. Actions and behaviours carry consequences. Therefore, it is a lot harder for someone to cover for actions if they are not aligned with words. So look hard at someone’s behaviour, the consequences and then think about what the reason (justification?) must have been.

A simple example is: if your partner is nice to you and helps with the household chores and brings you flowers or rubs your feet consistently for years, then you can assume they love you and want to be with you. If your partner ignores you, makes jokes about you to his friends or is mean to you, then possibly they don’t love you.

A real life example: look at president Zelenskyy and Putin. Both hold the same role: to govern their respective countries. Both are using traditional and social media to air their point of view. Yet Zelenskyy appears to be fighting with his soldiers to defend his country whilst Putin insists on physical distance even from his closest advisors. Zelenskyy promises Russian soldiers full amnesty and money if they surrender whilst Putin is jailing peaceful protesters. Zelenskyy and his team set up websites to try and return captures soldiers back to their families whilst Putin’s army is bombing civilians including children.

So how will you consume news going forward? Will you focus on multiple news sources? Will you observe actions over words? What actions will you take?

Don’t fall for disinformation and misinformation. Get smart! Get informed!