Month: February 2018

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Valentine’s Day past, present and future

Last week, love was in the air… and in post boxes all over the country.  14th February is the day when many celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is generally seen a day celebrating love or more specifically, romantic love. Cynics generally frown upon it as a day of pure consumerism. Looking at the Valentine’s day data and statistics on presents, expectations and experiences, this is easy to understand why.

That criticism seems to call for the obvious action of not joining in and ignoring the day completely. This, to me, is a little cheerless given the sentiment around the tradition. When I say tradition, I am talking about the current tradition of sending a sweet card or having a lovely time with your loved one. I am not thinking of the Roman or Christian or other historic roots which not many people know about and which are no longer acceptable in today’s world.

Coming back to our current interpretation of Valentine’s Day, this opens the question: what other choices do we have and what other actions can we take?

Personally, I wish everyone I see a happy Valentine’s Day. In previous years, I sent  Valentine’s Day e-cards to friends and family. It saves trees, is a good chance to catch up  and brings a smile to their faces. Even though some paper cards are doing a pretty good job of receiving – better said giving – smiles too. It is also a reminder to think about interactions  with people throughout the day rather than a frantic race to beat the crowds to the last bouquet of long stem red roses of just the right kind of red.

There are even groups who take it one step further and turn Valentine’s Day into an opportunity to do good and help others. I am in awe of anyone who has their first date on Valentine’s Day in a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen or an old people’s home. Do send me your story if that is how you met your soul mate.

Focusing on a specific romantic relationship you may find (or found) yourself in, you may want to do nice things for each other and they don’t have to have anything to do with Valentine’s Day. What’s wrong with offering a foot rub or a hot chocolate in the evening? You may even ask yourself “What’s the best that can happen if…?”

You don’t even have to wait for Valentine’s Day or do a Jekyll and Hyde by changing for only one day. Make it a habit for a month or two and see what happens. How about reserving a table at his / her favorite restaurant mid week or bringing home flowers. My suggestions is to choose their favorite flower rather than the easy option. Or bring breakfast to bed – ideally without crumbs.

The best book I ever read on the topic is “The 5 Love Languages”. It was recommended to me by my mentor who is using the suggestions in a male dominated, high stress, high pressure environment and it has been the single most impactful piece of advice I have received from him. The point here is to make your other half feel valued and loved. It is not about the money or showing off or getting the red of the roses just right. It’s all about them – your loved one, your better half, your soul mate.

All of these are small actions that matter a lot and they can be performed any time and  are more important than the big ones. After all, the wedding or the day you met your loved one is only one day but “Forgettable Wednesday” will come round every week. What will you do for your partner on Forgettable Wednesday number 217? That’s a little over 4 years into the relationship. Will you still be talking about the big day or is it more likely you will all be wrapped up in day to day life?

Back to topic though. Valentine’s Day is a day to show your appreciation of your partner. Sometimes they drive you crazy and sometimes you ask yourself why have a relationship in the first place? They are messy and hard work and frustrating and sometimes all three all at the same time. Sometimes, you even get hurt or your partner cheats on you. More on that topic in two weeks time though.

The good news is that relationships are good for you, make you life longer, healthier and happier.

In conclusion, cook a nice meal for your loved one. Yes, Valentine’s Day has come and gone for another year and life is back to normal. This should not stop you from surprising your partner or just being nice to them. Just do it. Make their day and in return they may just make your tomorrow.

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Choose your actions

Last week, I looked at options (in the context of voting) and the fact that generally, there is a range of options available to everyone before committing to an action. Everyone carries out a number of actions every day, some of them consciously while others seem to happen without much thought. So why bother choosing our actions if we get through the day without it?

First of all, let’s look at what an action is. Google’s dictionary comes up with “the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim” and the thesaurus came up with “behaviour” as the first and foremost synonym and ultimately, looking at all our actions as one combined entity, that is what it is. However, if we take a step back and break down behaviour into smaller actions, then it becomes more manageable to think about them in a meaningful way.

For example, what actions did you take today? Think about every single thing you did and list them in order. Did you include flossing your teeth?

You may think that actions which you carry out in the privacy of your own home or those which are not witnessed by others may not make a difference in the world. To some extent you are right. After all, nobody knows if you have flossed this morning. On the other hand, these small, unobservable actions impact your life and by extension impact people around you. Regarding flossing, I hope you did because there seems to be a link between a lack of good oral health and heart disease according to the Mayo Clinic. There is even a study on “Associations between poor oral health and reinjuries in male elite soccer players“. More on private actions and their impact on your life in two weeks time though.

The actions which are even more important are those that are observable or even noticed by others. It may be your family, your coworkers or fellow students or someone who is on the same bus as you or walks their dog in the same park. You have an impact on  people around you just for being in the same space. Even more important than your mere presence are your actions in public. Actions speak louder than words is a well known saying. For example, did you greet people with a smile or even said hello this morning? Did you help someone who needed help or turn away because it may turn out to be inconvenient?

Let’s compare two global events and how they played out. Last Thursday, the Olympic Winter Games started and the main actions discussed are the International Olympic Committee‘s (IOC’s) decision to ban Russia as a country due to a state backed doping scheme. Still, 169 athletes are allowed to compete as neutrals under the group name of “Olympic Athletes of Russia” and the IOC keeps watching their actions closely.

In 1928, on the other hand, during the Olympic Summer Games, the conversation focused on Bobby Pearce who won the Olympic gold medal in rowing even though he briefly stopped in the quarter finals to let a family of ducks pass.


Source: Wikipedia

Even though Pearce won the race comfortable and therefore his action did not have a direct impact on anyone else at the time, it has a big impact to this day since it shows Pearce as the role model we all could be.

I am not expecting anyone to risk a gold medal or go out of their way to achieve a set number of good deeds a day. All I am trying to do is to get you thinking about your actions and whether they reflect what you truly want the world to be like.

This opens the question: what would you like the world to look like? Imagine you could change the world to your liking. What would it look like? I encourage you to think about your ideal world; what would be in it and what would not feature; how people interact with each other. Most importantly, once you have your ideal world, keep thinking and come up with ideas how to contribute to this ideal world. Some of these ideas will be big one-off projects and may even need help from the outside. Some of these ideas can form the basis for your actions on a day to day basis.

For me, my ideal world would be more equal and people more collaborative. When I talk about equality I mean true equality in which everyone is treated the same and has the same opportunities at the outset of life. As a human race, we have come a long way and I’m certain that we will go the rest of the distance as well. I contribute as often as I can with different actions e.g. when I am leading teams, I make sure that each person is paid the same for the same work irrespective of gender, religion, skin colour or any other persuasion. I aim to treat people the same when I interact with them. Most importantly, I call out “isms” when I come across them. It is important to take action and speak out and act upon inequality because otherwise nothing will change.

Therefore, I encourage you again, think about your ideal world and what would need to change for this to happen. How can you contribute to your ideal world with your actions?

If you need a challenge, pick five actions that you came up with and carry them out at every opportunity you get for a whole week. Imagine, even one single action carried out by everyone on the planet would be enough to have a big impact.

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Vote for what you believe in

Last time, I wrote about options and that we always should be aware of the full range of choices before taking any actions. After all, our actions are how we interact with the world according to our values. More on actions and values next week. An easy example to demonstrate options is by taking a look at elections and the choices we have in the whole process. First though, let’s look at democracy.

Democracy

Democracy is a system of government in which the citizens exercise power directly or elect representatives from among themselves to form a governing body, such as a parliament. [Wikipedia – Democracy]

This description sounds great given that each person can use their voice to choose who governs them. They can even put themselves forward to be voted for. The intended outcome is a government that acts in the best interest of its constituency since they are part of the electorate themselves.

In theory, this concept works well and people can choose representatives from a varied range of options including standing for office themselves. In practice, democracy is hard to get right. The Economist wrote an excellent essay on the topic. Since the first attempts at democracy, a number of countries tried to implement democratic systems and failed; with Athens’ first democracy only lasting 200 years.

Elections

Elections do not equal democracy even though they are used in all current democracies. The first democracy in Athens chose sortition to select people and that means that political roles were filled randomly from the pool of self-selected candidates. If this lottery system were in use today, it would allow for unbiased equality since every person who puts themselves forward has an equal chance of being picked irrespective of race, gender, religion etc. Back in Athens, only males of 30 years or older were allowed and the “winners” of the lottery would still be examined for suitability for their year in office.

Similarly, some roles where excluded from sortition entirely and were filled by scrutinising the skills of individuals and matching them to a role to get the best possible person [The American School of Classical Studies at Athens]. Sortition also has drawbacks such as lack of enthusiasm on the part of the selected or the fact that there is no long term accountability.

Last but not least, would you be happy if your government were chosen by luck?

Option 1 – abstention

The topic of accountability brings us back to modern day democracy where it is taken care of by elections. Every person gets a vote of equal power, elections are held regularly and votes are counted and re-counted if required. Again, there are issues with elections such as voter fraud, sham elections or abuse of power of the elected representatives. Furthermore, voters don’t always support any of the possible choices or are generally unsatisfied with the system or simply don’t get the time off from work to go to the voting booth. Therefore, many voters abstain and don’t even turn up for elections. This is our option 1 – abstention which means that you choose not to execute your right to vote. One quote to remember when thinking of abstaining:

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”
Plato

Abstention is one reason why voting is compulsory in 22 countries worldwide. In some cases, a fine is enforced, for example Australia charged $170 in 2013 which resulted in a voter turnout of 92%. Prior to its introduction, Australia had an average voter turnout of around 70%. Similarly, turnout dropped by 20% in the Netherlands and 30% in Venezuela after compulsory voting was abolished.

Option 2 – protest vote

The main criticism of compulsory voting is the fact that people are forced to vote whether they support a political party or not. In countries with a preference voting system where each option is given a ranking, this can result in what is know as a donkey vote. This means that votes simply number the candidates in the order of appearance. In Australia, this ultimately led to changes in the way ballot papers are created. Nowadays, candidates are listed in a random order and voter education was increased.

Another version of voluntarily opting out at the ballot box is option 2 – the protest vote. This means that you choose to hand in a blank vote, invalidate the ballot or select a minority representative who will have no impact on the outcome. It is often intended as a signal of dissatisfaction with the system or the available candidates from which to choose from. However, the outcome is a spoilt vote which increases the importance of every other valid vote. In Joseph de Maistre’s words:

“Every country has the government it deserves.”

Option 3 – vote for what you think is right

This finally leads us to option 3 – vote for what is right. Make up your own mind, listen to the build up of the elections and go to the ballot box. Easy.

Having said that, it is important to know what you vote for. For example in the 1990s, Nathan Zohner, 14, successfully encouraged students and parents to vote for a ban on “Dihydrogen monoxide” which is nothing other than the chemical name for water. The Dihydrogen monoxide hoax‘s website has been visited over 15 million times and is an example of what can be accomplished when voters don’t understand the data presented.

This lack of knowledge and research is an extreme example, however, it is not far off what happens in real life when it comes to politics. People hear soundbites of well crafted speeches which ultimately say very little about actual issues, upcoming policies and plans which will impact the voters directly. For example, in 2016, the UK voted in a referendum on whether to remain in the European Union or leave. No verifiable figures on the financial impact were presented. With hindsight, some claims during the run up to the referendum have been fact checked and found to be false.

This means that you need to know and understand your options. What election are you taking part in? What is the context and impact of your vote? How can you hold the elected to account during the term? What does the political party stand for? What does the person stand for? Do the plans of the political party and of the representative match up?

Last but not least, with knowledge on your side, you can choose the updated option 3 – vote for what you know the best option to be.

Alternatively – get active, get talking

If neither of the above options is for you, then I recommend that you get active yourself. Get involved in politics, join a party or set up a new party yourself like Beppe Grillo, a comedian in Italy who set up the FiveStarMovement in 2009, led it until Sep 2017 and only pulled out last week on 24 Jan 2018.

If that looks like too much effort, then at least have conversations with your friends, family and colleagues about what they think about upcoming elections. Compare it to your own thinking and research differences and further arguments for your points and also for the other side. If you are really adventurous, ask someone who you usually wouldn’t speak with and see if they have another point of view. Only when politics is talked about openly and maturely will the system work at its best.

Most importantly, you need to make up your own mind. Don’t give in to what media, scaremongers or least of all politicians tell you. Go out there, find out about your options and do what you know is right.